I lie belly-up
     In the sunshine, happier than
     You will ever be.

     Today I sniffed
     Many dog behinds -- I celebrate
     By kissing your face.

     I sound the alarm!
     Paper boy -- come to kill us all
     Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

     I sound the alarm!
     Garbage man -- come to kill us all
     Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

     How do I love thee?
     The ways are as numberless as
     My hairs on the rug.

     My human is home!
     I am so ecstatic I have
     Made a puddle.

     I Hate my choke chain
     Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
     Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

     Sleeping here, my chin
     On your foot -- no greater bliss -- well,
     Maybe catching rats

     Look in my eyes and
     Deny it. No human could
     Love you as much as I do.

     The cat is not all
     Bad --she fills the litter box
     With tootsie rolls.

     Dig under the fence--why?
     Because it is there. Because it's
     There. Because it's there.

     I am your best friend,
     Now, always, and especially
     When you are eating.